It is hard to believe that the short fantasy football season as come down to six teams vying for a trophy I have not yet had the time to decorate.
But alas after some trading, whining and occasional name-calling it is do or die time for our teams.
When debating what to blog about I decided to take the “everyone’s a winner” approach to today’s entry despite the fact that I absolutely hate situations where there is no clear winners or losers. At least I will be able to put my own spin on it.
So here are my 2011 “Here We Go” league fantasy football awards that I hope will leave you laughing and my friends wondering why they even talk to me. I decided to go in order that the teams are seeded for the playoffs.
My good friend Tif, also known as the “Irish Pixies” gets the “Prove ‘em Wrong” award. When her husband was informed that she wanted to do fantasy football he said she would never log in and would not be that into the games. Why do men think they know so much. On many occasions I have seen her, fantasy team on the screen, debating her moves for the next week. She ended up seeded second in our league and winning her division. With some powerhouse players she was very difficult to beat. When we played each other I believe I won by only a point. It was nice to see a female not only win her division but prove the guys wrong.
“The Stigs” also known as Craig, gets the “Why Did We Invite You To Play Again” award. Finishing the season 11-2 he narrowly lost out to a first round bye and divisional win on a tiebreaker. He steamrolled everyone in the league. While he is not in our circle of friends he is a high school friend of my husband. So we all had to lose to him at least once and never got the satisfaction of talking some good old fashioned crap to him about his team. He just sat back and won a bunch of games. It really is not even fair.
The “Attaboy” award goes to last year’s dominating team owner Larry and “Team Bears Rocks.” While he made the playoffs his stellar season was plagued with the loss of his quarterback Matt Schaub and now the loss of his runningback Matt Forte. He always a bit more quiet than the rest of us. He would always speak on game day with wins in matchups he is even projected to lose. But with an injury-prone team this year finishing out strong just wasn’t in the cards.
Since I got my live Christmas tree in the house I think it is safe to pick my husband also known as “Show Me Your TD’s.” He took a page out of his BFF Kris’ handbook and complained the entire season that it was rigged. He gets the “Tin Foil Football Helmet” award (in case you don’t get the joke it is a play on conspiracy theories). Now there may have been some trades that in could be considered questionable. A few teams would trade players back and forth during bye weeks so friends would have a shot to win matchups. Then they would trade them back at the end of the game. Yes it is a bit sneaky but when he was given the time to rally the troops for a veto he could not get the votes. He is in the playoffs but if he wins this week I have a feeling he may not be able to handle his competition next week.
The “Reasoning Without Reason” award goes to my father, team owner of “Not Cleveland.” There are many reasons he deserves this award. When the playoff bracket was released he was happy because he “was in the same place he was last year.” Maybe there is a theory to that since last year he started the season 0-4 and ended up winning the championship. This year again he got into the playoffs on a win in the last game of the regular season. But it is not this incident where he clearly wins this award. A few weeks ago he called because he was upset that the Steelers defense did not score the same amount of points as the Texans defense. He argued his case about why the Texans did not deserve 29 points if the Steelers only got 15. After exploring I discovered that he was looking at the Texans defense in our league and his score with the Steelers defense in another league. The leagues had different scoring systems. The Steelers in our league had a much higher score. He ended up winning the match anyway but kept saying “I am not upset I am just trying to understand.” It seems our scoring worked because he did make the, to quote Jim Mora, “Playoffs?!?!?!?!?!?”
“Team Top Gear,” AKA Scott, who just missed the playoffs gets the “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction,” award. He was a nice addition to the league. He understands the players and despite wanting a live draft next year with wings, a podium and cheerleaders did not make too many unreasonable requests. But every week it appeared that when the waiver wire report came down he would drop his entire team for a completely new group of guys. It just seemed that he could not find the magic combo that worked for him. Maybe next year.
The “Michigan Misfits” or Michele found the magic combination a little bit too late in the season. She gets the “Day Late Dollar Short” award. You have to give her credit. She wanted to stick with all Steelers and Michigan players for her fantasy team. Unfortunately that leaves you with Chad Henne as a quarterback, not the best fantasy move. After losing the first several matchups she came around to trying some other players on her team. She made a clutch pickup with the addition of Cam Newton and picked up some other decent fantasy players along the way. Sometimes in fantasy football you are stuck with players you hate, unless the score big. By the time she was really able to get into the game it was too late. Maybe next year.
The “Reformed Hater,” award goes to “Team Tap Out” AKA Kris who did not once say that it is rigged this year. He ran his mouth a bit but quietly ended the season 3-10. Despite his embarrassing record no accusations was made about the league manager or any other aspects of the game. Unfortunately still he lacks the mad skills to compete with fierce women of the league.
The good news is “Team Tap Out” is not in last place.
“Meyersdale Hell Catchers” also known as Bob, secured that with a 0-12-1 record. I am not sure if his team abbreviation HELL stands for his name or the type of season he had. His biggest issue was just not understanding how fantasy football worked and sometimes not having the time to make adjustments to his team. “The Little Engine that Could,” award will look good in his house.
Now some may notice that I did not include myself on this list. I, along with Irish Pixies, secured a first-round bye with my number one seed on the bracket. So my award isn’t quite ready yet. Like I said the championship trophy is still in pieces on my kitchen table.