That’s My Story

When it comes to games of chance I am never lucky. I could sit at a dinner and everyone around me will win a prize. I am typically a number short of Bingo and a symbol off winning the big bucks on a lottery ticket.
Despite my unlucky streaks I decided to attempt to win a turkey at the Berlin Fire Department’s turkey raffle instead of saving the stress and humiliation by just buying a turkey.
So I found a seat and found four tips the for the first turkey. I thought 28 would be lucky since I was in station 628 could be lucky. Nope.
Each time they spun the wheel I got several tickets. And every time I lost. It almost became a joke as I really needed a bird. I toyed with the idea of walking out and going to a store to buy the turkey. But I could not accept defeat. I kept playing, and losing.
Then, as the number of prizes entered single digits, the daughter of one of the firemen came over with a beautiful frozen turkey and said “here you can have this.”
What a showing of the Thanksgiving spirit. She saw my frustration and wanted to help out.
At least that is what I thought until she said.
“We won two turkeys and my mom said bring home anything but a turkey.”
Really.
You see they bought a chance for every turkey given away. Just one chance to play the game and they won two turkeys. And they didn’t even need one.
I saw the firefighter when I was leaving and I checked to make sure it was OK for me to take the turkey home.
When he left the house he said his wife gave a stern warning — no turkey.
“It is better you take it home then for me to get shot when I walk in the door.”
So I guess I am lucky that his wife threatened him before he left the house.
At least my family will appreciate my efforts when they are eating my delicious bird Thanksgiving day. Well certain members of my family at least.
My sister is anti-turkey. I have to make a ham for her to avoid the “I hate turkey whines.” It is the only way I truly win.

I am not a Scrooge. I love shopping for Christmas gifts and baking cookies.
But there are a few things about holidays that do not fill me with comfort and joy.
The Pennsylvania lottery has been playing the same commercial since I was in middle school. I could recite the entire annoying take on the 12 Days of Christmas. I know production costs are high but please hearing this at least once a day is driving me nuts.
But the worst by far are the classic Christmas clips that are played on a certain unnamed channel before the evening news.
Soon, just as I was getting over my political ad hangover, Hardrock, Coco and Joe - The Three Little Dwarfs, Suzy Snowflake and Frosty will be played every day. Frosty is a little bit bearable.
I understand that these are classics and that there are people who wait all year for the cartoons to be on TV. I am just not one of them.
I have this horrible habit of getting annoying songs stuck in my head. This week, thanks to my wonderful husband, I had “I left a bottle of sparkling apple juice at your house, did you get it,” in my head. This was a clip from a SNL clip about a month ago.
Even writing this I am singing in my head “Ole olady olady I ay - Donner and Blitzen away away - Ole olady olady I oh - I’m Hardrock, I’m Coco, I’m Joe.” The madness will not stop.
Maybe I am just a creature of change but I like a little variety. There is one and only one exception to this rule – the Eat ‘n Park commercial with the Christmas tree that bends down helps the star to the top. That is one of my favorite holiday commercials.
Well now all I can do is wait because despite what I think ‚ÄúHere comes Suzy Snowflake - Dressed in a snow white gown - Tap, tap, tappin‚Äô at your window pane - To tell you she’s in town.‚Äù
(I welcome any comments, suggestions and criticism at michelleg@dailyamerican.com)