That’s My Story

It is hard to believe that the short fantasy football season as come down to six teams vying for a trophy I have not yet had the time to decorate.

But alas after some trading, whining and occasional name-calling it is do or die time for our teams.

When debating what to blog about I decided to take the “everyone’s a winner” approach to today’s entry despite the fact that I absolutely hate situations where there is no clear winners or losers. At least I will be able to put my own spin on it.

So here are my 2011 “Here We Go” league fantasy football awards that I hope will leave you laughing and my friends wondering why they even talk to me. I decided to go in order that the teams are seeded for the playoffs.

My good friend Tif, also known as the “Irish Pixies” gets the “Prove ‘em Wrong” award. When her husband was informed that she wanted to do fantasy football he said she would never log in and would not be that into the games. Why do men think they know so much. On many occasions I have seen her, fantasy team on the screen, debating her moves for the next week. She ended up seeded second in our league and winning her division. With some powerhouse players she was very difficult to beat. When we played each other I believe I won by only a point. It was nice to see a female not only win her division but prove the guys wrong.

“The Stigs” also known as Craig, gets the “Why Did We Invite You To Play Again” award. Finishing the season 11-2 he narrowly lost out to a first round bye and divisional win on a tiebreaker. He steamrolled everyone in the league. While he is not in our circle of friends he is a high school friend of my husband. So we all had to lose to him at least once and never got the satisfaction of talking some good old fashioned crap to him about his team. He just sat back and won a bunch of games. It really is not even fair.

The “Attaboy” award goes to last year’s dominating team owner Larry and “Team Bears Rocks.” While he made the playoffs his stellar season was plagued with the loss of his quarterback Matt Schaub and now the loss of his runningback Matt Forte. He always a bit more quiet than the rest of us. He would always speak on game day with wins in matchups he is even projected to lose. But with an injury-prone team this year finishing out strong just wasn’t in the cards.

Since I got my live Christmas tree in the house I think it is safe to pick my husband also known as “Show Me Your TD’s.” He took a page out of his BFF Kris’ handbook and complained the entire season that it was rigged. He gets the “Tin Foil Football Helmet” award (in case you don’t get the joke it is a play on conspiracy theories). Now there may have been some trades that in could be considered questionable. A few teams would trade players back and forth during bye weeks so friends would have a shot to win matchups. Then they would trade them back at the end of the game. Yes it is a bit sneaky but when he was given the time to rally the troops for a veto he could not get the votes. He is in the playoffs but if he wins this week I have a feeling he may not be able to handle his competition next week.

The “Reasoning Without Reason” award goes to my father, team owner of “Not Cleveland.” There are many reasons he deserves this award. When the playoff bracket was released he was happy because he “was in the same place he was last year.” Maybe there is a theory to that since last year he started the season 0-4 and ended up winning the championship. This year again he got into the playoffs on a win in the last game of the regular season. But it is not this incident where he clearly wins this award. A few weeks ago he called because he was upset that the Steelers defense did not score the same amount of points as the Texans defense. He argued his case about why the Texans did not deserve 29 points if the Steelers only got 15. After exploring I discovered that he was looking at the Texans defense in our league and his score with the Steelers defense in another league. The leagues had different scoring systems. The Steelers in our league had a much higher score. He ended up winning the match anyway but kept saying “I am not upset I am just trying to understand.” It seems our scoring worked because he did make the, to quote Jim Mora, “Playoffs?!?!?!?!?!?”

“Team Top Gear,” AKA Scott, who just missed the playoffs gets the “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction,” award. He was a nice addition to the league. He understands the players and despite wanting a live draft next year with wings, a podium and cheerleaders did not make too many unreasonable requests. But every week it appeared that when the waiver wire report came down he would drop his entire team for a completely new group of guys. It just seemed that he could not find the magic combo that worked for him. Maybe next year.

The “Michigan Misfits” or Michele found the magic combination a little bit too late in the season. She gets the “Day Late Dollar Short” award. You have to give her credit. She wanted to stick with all Steelers and Michigan players for her fantasy team. Unfortunately that leaves you with Chad Henne as a quarterback, not the best fantasy move. After losing the first several matchups she came around to trying some other players on her team. She made a clutch pickup with the addition of Cam Newton and picked up some other decent fantasy players along the way. Sometimes in fantasy football you are stuck with players you hate, unless the score big. By the time she was really able to get into the game it was too late. Maybe next year.

The “Reformed Hater,” award goes to “Team Tap Out” AKA Kris who did not once say that it is rigged this year. He ran his mouth a bit but quietly ended the season 3-10. Despite his embarrassing record no accusations was made about the league manager or any other aspects of the game. Unfortunately still he lacks the mad skills to compete with fierce women of the league.

The good news is “Team Tap Out” is not in last place.

“Meyersdale Hell Catchers” also known as Bob, secured that with a 0-12-1 record. I am not sure if his team abbreviation HELL stands for his name or the type of season he had. His biggest issue was just not understanding how fantasy football worked and sometimes not having the time to make adjustments to his team. “The Little Engine that Could,” award will look good in his house.

Now some may notice that I did not include myself on this list. I, along with Irish Pixies, secured a first-round bye with my number one seed on the bracket. So my award isn’t quite ready yet. Like I said the championship trophy is still in pieces on my kitchen table.

I am pretty agreeable when it comes to my job. But every year I refuse to write the Black Friday shopping story.

I am a bit of a bargain hunter, but camping outside the local Walmart to get into a fist-fight over a Barbie doll is not my cup of tea. I have very close friends who participated in marathon shopping trips after Thanksgiving, but I am just as happy sitting at my desk.

While I have always been against the kung-fu style shopping I supported theory for those wanting to grab a few bargains. What upset me this year was the news some retailers were opening at 9 p.m. Thursday.

It is called Black Friday because it is supposed to happen on Friday. All this will do is cause retailers to start their sales earlier and earlier. Before you know it the turkey and stuffing will be an afterthought as people are getting in line for their chance to possibly get a bargain.

And instead of spending time with their families they will rip other people from their families to save a few bucks. As long as people are willing to open their pocketbooks cooperate giants will bring in their employees to open the doors.

Maybe I am too traditional. I believe that Thanksgiving is a day to spend time cooking with your family the taking catnaps on the couch while watching the football game. I am even against going out to eat on holidays. It is not that hard to make a turkey. If you have a big family, buy a big turkey. Again, if people did not go to restaurants during the holidays restaurants would not be open.

I hope that retailers remember that Thanksgiving is supposed to be about spending time with family and passing out after eating a pound of turkey.

The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the clearly guilty.
I try to be a supportive wife, even if that means I attend nearly every softball game for my husband.
The truth is I am really starting to follow baseball. Even though it is still a little slow for my pace I have come to a new found appreciate for America’s favorite pastime.
Despite the rainy weather and mud bog field my husband’s team (which I will now refer to as team A) had to take the field. There was one issue – a shortage of umpires.
So I willingly volunteered for the job. I knew that if the ball gets to the base first the runner is out. How hard can it be?
I tried to stay out of the ball’s way since getting hit in the head was not on my agenda. I tried the best I could to see when the ball would reach the glove and where everyone’s feet were.
I do not plan on quitting my day job.
What I never accounted for is how hard it truly is to see when the ball reaches the glove and how difficult it can be when a first base coach is moving around to keep an eye on where everyone is.
So apparently I made a mistake.
Not since Jerry Meals messed up a play that cost the Buccos an overtime win against the Braves was an umpire’s call so quickly and loudly disputed. While this may be a bit of an exaggeration Meals is a seasoned veteran and I was trying my first hand as a first base umpire.
I called a player from team D out at first base. The player turned around and said “I’m not going in on that one” while team D’s supporters blasted my decision. What I did not know is when a player and the ball arrive at the plate at the same time the runner wins. Admit the commotion my typical tough self retreated. I was pretty upset. Now not only did I have to worry about a stray ball knocking me into next week but I also had to worry about making a bad call and dealing with an upset team. Why not be calm and just say I think I was safe. I’ll admit that I am human and can make a mistake if you can calm down and remember you are in a league that is supposed to be playing just for fun. Somehow that was lost somewhere between first base and the crater hole left by Mother Nature.
So I got back my composure and luckily the rest of the plays were not as close as that one. The player from team D gave a half-hearted apology after he was safely on base in the next inning. But there was no way my ego was accepting that apology.
So I learned my lesson – the best place for me is a view from the bleachers. And if you are playing a game, give the rookie umpires a break.

I am not going to voice my opinion on the Casey Anthony verdict. At the end of the day our justice system is designed that a jury of our peers has the final say – whether we agree or not.

What is upsetting to me is the more than 200 items listed on eBay by people trying to profit from the case.

From bumper stickers to newspaper copies to T-shirts and magazines many people are trying to make a buck of the sad case of a 3-year-old girl who left this world too soon.

For instance a classmate of Anthonys is selling three yearbooks when she was in fifth, 11th and 12 grades. So far one bidder has placed a $450 bid on the set.

If $450 is too steep you can always get a “got kids” car decal featuring a silhouette of Anthony for $.99.

Orlando newspapers are listed at a buy it now price of $35 and some people have placed $50 bids on court house documents.

A five-pack of “Which one had the dumbest jury?” bumper stickers that features Anthony’s and O.J. Simpson’s headshots is listed for $12.50.

Other people have listed artwork, T-shirts and other publications for sale. Her defense attorney, Jose Baez even has a cameo in the listings with a vote for Jose poster for $7.88.

As someone who followed the trial pretty closely I understand the fascination with the case. But I cannot approve of people trying to profit from such a tragedy. Whether she is truly innocent or guilty at the end of the day there is still a precious child who has died.

Go ahead read articles, follow news coverage listen to talking heads, but please do not commercialize on this case. It is a slap in the face to the memory of a tiny 3-year-old girl to try and profit from her untimely death.

One of the things I am most proud of is the vast amount of useless information stored in my pretty little head.
I know random facts that have no true purpose.
I have long attributed my random fact knowledge to an obsession with Pop Up Video, a show that featured information about music, artists and fun facts nestled inside bubbles during music videos.
Maybe I am going to fast here. There was a time that stations such as MTV and VH1 played what are called music videos instead of reality shows mocking Italian Americans. But let’s leave that for another blog.
The show left the airwaves in 2002 but I was able to catch some reruns on VH1 classic.
But someone decided that music channels need to start actually playing music again and Pop Up Video is returning to VH1 this fall with new videos and facts. Artists such as Eminem and Katy Perry will be featured in the return of the series. I am keeping my fingers crossed that Lady Gaga makes a few appearances as well.
I hope the show is a success and this is a trend of brining back more music to these channels. Now if only someone would produce a sitcom such as Friends I would be in great shape.
By the way did you know that Ghostbusters was originally written for John Belushi. Unfortunately he died a year before the movie was shot.
“Bloop.”

For once I would love it if a Steeler made headlines for some on-field accomplishments.

But Tuesday Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall made headlines for Tweets.

Here are some of his Tweets after the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed:

“I believe in God. I believe we’re ALL his children. And I believe HE is the ONE and ONLY judge.”
“We’ll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.”
“What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side…”

Hey Rashard - SHUT UP. No one cares about your crazy conspiracy theory.

Since we live in such a great country where brave men and women fight to defend our freedoms, including freedom of speech, Mendenhall can take time out of his busy day to share his viewpoint.

But that same freedom of speech also gives me the right to call him a idiot. When you are in the public eye you have a responsibility to act a certain way. Unfortunately the multimillion dollar paychecks athletes cash puts them in the public eye. People care what you have to say.

As I further investigated his Twitter account I saw he described himself as a “Conversationalist and Professional Athlete.” Glad to see that being an athlete is his “top” priority.

I wish he would keep his crazy viewpoints to himself and work on breaking tackles and holding on to the football.

Anyone know where I can score an Isaac Redman jersey?

I am happy to say that a prediction I made in a Feb. 2 blog has come true – well almost.
In February I offered my opinion on a new Spike TV show called Repo Games where a crew goes to repo a car, however, if the delinquent car owner can answer some trivia questions they get to keep their car, free in clear.
At that time I wrote: “So basically in the middle of anger and denial a game show host will pop out and ask the upset car owner “How many ounces are in a cup? Either the person will say “eight” or punch the guy out …”
This week news broke that a North Las Vegas middle school teacher was arrested for allegedly opening fire on a reality television crew.
Which show was it? Repo Games.
Now here is where I was wrong, Carlos Barron was upset that the Repo Games van was in front of his house and was not a target of a repossession.
Luckily the car owner did answer enough of the trivia questions to keep the car.
He is facing charges for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, aiming or discharging a firearm where a person might be in danger and obstructing a police officer.
Now it is not clear whether the man was upset about Repo Games or he is upset with the real issue - the producer of Repo Games.
See people behind Repo Games are also behind trainwreck and offensive Jersey Shore. The same producers that want to send that trash to Italy in an attempt to ruining Firenze for me. No I did not spell Florence, Italy, incorrectly. That is the Italian word for the town. Something I am sure the drunken Jersey Shore idiots will not be able to understand.
If people are willing to get drunk and run amuck then fine, put them on television because there are plenty of stupid people out there to watch them. But I am still firmly against a show that takes people during a hard financial time and make a game show out of it.
Check out http://onourtown.com/michelleganassi/2011/02/02/emotions-will-run-high/ for my original Repo Games blog.